Things Are Getting Back To Normal!

Yesterday was a big day for me! I may hate the fact that the weather is getting colder, I’m a spring and summer girl all the way and I’ll take the heat over the cold any day. However, it does make for great running weather. I knew I had to get a run in after work, it was just a matter of where.

I usually go to a park about 10 minutes from my house but ever since my accident all my runs have been around my neighborhood. Which works fine, but it’s pretty boring. I end up doing several loops around and unless I’m super motivated, the never changing scenery means that I’ll often cut my route short out of boredom. I usually only run in my neighborhood when I’m pressed for time, or I forget to pack my running clothes.

The reason for this? The day of my accident I was on my way to that very park to go for a run. I was about 2 miles from the park when I rear ended the person in front of me. I’ve been nervous about driving in general since then, but the idea of driving back to that park has brought me even more anxiety that I have decided to just avoid going there and figure out other ways to get in my runs.

I’ve managed to deal with a lot of the other stresses that accident caused me. I didn’t turn to unhealthy habits, I continued my running, I’m making sure I’m much more alert and less distracted when driving, and I’m giving myself more time to get to my destinations so I’m not in a rush. However, I still hadn’t attempted to go back to that park, and pass exactly where the accident happened.

Well yesterday I went to the park and ran! I know this is a small victory, and in the grand scheme of things isn’t a huge deal, but it felt so good to conquer that thing that was bringing me a lot of anxiety. When I passed where the accident occurred I was definitely aware and nervous but I made it safely and was able to relieve some of those nerves by having a great short run!

I’m taking this entire process one step at a time, but I’m excited every time some progress is made!

How do you deal with things that bring you anxiety?

Keep Calm and Run On!

“Everything happens for a reason, deep breath, repeat.” I feel like that’s all I’ve been repeating for the past 24 hours. Yesterday was a roller coaster of emotions. I had been hoping to start grad school this week but several things were up in the air that would determine whether or not I would be able to actually start. Most of these things required actually being able to pay for classes, you know, important things.

Without going into too much detail I got a lot of answers yesterday and not all of them made me happy, and now I have choices to make. I’ll still be going to class on Wednesday, since I’ll have time to drop the class after if I decide to, and that will afford me a little more time to make a decision.

Suffice it to say it was a lot to wrap my head around, and then to make matters worse, or better (I still really haven’t decided which yet), it was the start of an extremely busy week at work, so I had barely any time to think about all of it.

That means when I got home my mind couldn’t stop thinking, my stomach was sick and I really just wanted to curl up into a ball until the world, and all its problems, went away. If only, if only…

I didn’t do that, but I knew that I had to do something to get my mind off things if I had any hope in sleeping and so I realized it was 7:45, the sun hadn’t quite gone to bed yet and if I dressed really quickly I could get out and run for a half hour that I hadn’t originally planned on running.

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I ran three miles and it was totally the right decision. I don’t think I realized how much pent up energy I had from the day. I had more stamina than usual and it was the first time in the entire day that my head wasn’t reeling from information overload. That felt amazing.

I realized after my run, that despite all the stress and fluctuating emotions of yesterday not once did I have even the slightest desire to turn to food as stress relief. Instead my first instinct was to run, which is a much healthier choice, and leaves me feeling better after as well!